


the birthday (fucking) present

by 2amskype (AngelaLives)



Category: Internet Personalities, Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF), Real Person Fiction, Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Anal Sex, Begging, Birthdays, Bottom Dan, Cock Slut, D/s Vibes, D/s undertones, Dan Howell - Freeform, Dirty Talk, Enthusiastic Consent, Established Relationship, Exhibitionism, Fluff and Smut, M/M, Mild Kink, One Shot, Pastel Dan, Phanfiction, Phil Lester - Freeform, Porn With Plot, Porn with Feelings, Punk Dan, Sex Toys, Smut, Top Phil, a little bit of, butt plug, butt plug as 2 words, buttplug, cliche dan 4 the bants, dan is squirmy, idk what fandom to tag this in so all of them, like not that much, phil has a dirty mouth, phil is a cool cucumber, smol kink, time doesnt exist, until he's a hot cucumber
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-11-11
Updated: 2016-11-11
Packaged: 2018-08-30 09:31:29
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,319
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8527951
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AngelaLives/pseuds/2amskype
Summary: it's phil's birthday! what did dan get him? (hint: it starts with s and rhymes with chex)





	

Phil awoke to a cool breeze blowing across his back. He is certain that he and Dan had fallen asleep last night cuddling, and Phil was most certainly alone. Usually he hogged the blankets, but now they were gone, he turned over and looked around suspiciously at the bright world through squinted eyes. Phil, realizing he is on the couch, is very confused. Maybe he misremembered, he thought getting up to pee. While getting breakfast, he noticed Dan’s dirty cereal bowl in the sink, and glanced at the clock on the stove that read 11:20 AM. As Phil wolfed down his raisin bran and water breakfast, he notices a note on the counter from Dan, detailing that the younger man would return later. He checks his phone for messages to see that his twitter mentions have blown up. January 30th? By golly, it’s his birthday! Phil turns away from his cereal to call out a jibe to Dan for not already wishing him a happy birthday when he remembers the note, and that the brunet had gone out.

“Probably procrastinated with my birthday presents again,” Phil thinks aloud with a laugh. Sometimes Dan would plan gifts so far in advance he would forget that he had already ordered them, and Phil would end up with two matching “here cum dat boi o shit waddup” mugs. It was endearing, but sometimes Dan just outright forgot about special occasions, such as Halloween last year that he slept through entirely. They didn’t have anything planned for the day, so Phil decides to shop around for the best tasting cakes in their area to pick up later with hit boyfriend, though it would have to be small enough they wouldn’t get sick…

Wait, who is he kidding? Dan probably had a surprise party planned for him!

It feels odd just waiting around, so the birthday boy decides to Pokémon Go outside and look through shop windows at things he probably wouldn’t buy, like extravagant spring décor or carpeting printed with pepe faces. Phil’s only hope is that the surprise won’t be a disaster like the incredibly fancy restaurant they had surprised Louise with on her birthday, though Dan did look _smashing_ in that suit… Phil shook the thoughts from his head, conscious that they would give him a very visible problem that he did not want to deal with while he’s out and about. Checking his phone for a text from Dan, he saw a text from exactly dat boi he was thinking about! Dan is asking Phil to meet him at a restaurant not that far away. It didn’t seem to have a dress code from the reviews, but Phil stopped at home to switch his jeans out for slacks. Phil sends a quick text to Dan and speed walks over, not wanting to be late. On the way, Phil looks around at the people, some in pairs, groups; some alone. He thinks about Dan and their friends, and that they haven’t done anything recently. Maybe this date would be a group affair, though he and Dan hadn’t done anything in public in a while.

“Sir? Table for one, or are you looking for a party?” a hostess asks politely. Phil smiles at her apologetically for spacing out, as he had been so caught up in thoughts of Dan that he hadn’t noticed he arrived at the restaurant. He gave the name “Lester”, and the hostess led him to a booth at the quieter side of the room. Dan was sitting at the table already, staring at the menu and shifting around anxiously.

Phil hated to see his boyfriend anxious, but the way that stretched across his chest... Phil wasn't sure he'd be able to stay for dessert.

"Hey there," Phil murmurs to Dan, leaning forward. "What's a pretty thing like you doing all alone?" Dan blushes, and Phil smirks, very pleased with himself. The smirk stretched into a grin.

"Thank you for this, this is really nice." The younger man shook his head.

" 'Least I can do for your birthday, especially since you mean a lot to me." Dan blushes again, and shifts almost uncomfortably in his seat. Phil frowns.

"Dan, are you quite all right?" The birthday boy leans forward conspiratorially. “You know, if this is too much for you, we can have a night-in.” Though that wouldn’t break their recent streak of night-ins, Phil was willing to do that for his pale lover.

“No, I’m fine. You deserve this, birthday or not.” The pastel goth emo flower child places his hand on Phil’s as he slides Phil a menu. “Dinner’s on me. What’re you having?”

 

☠ ☮ ☯ ♤ Ω ♤ ♧ ♧ ♥ ♡ ♢ ♢ ♔ ♕ ♚ ♛ ⚜ ☄ ☾ ☽ ☼ ☀ ☁ ☂ ☃ ☻ ☺ ☹ ۞ ۩

 

The date was a very nice one. Romantic, quiet, and they got their dessert to go partially because of Phil’s need to get Dan out of those clothes as quickly as possible, but also because Phil is an attentive boyfriend, and took notice of how _squirmy_ Dan was during the date, though they both had a good time as far as he could tell.

As they walked home hand-in-hand Phil decided to once again inquire Dan’s wellbeing.

“Honey, are you sure you’re alright? Dinner wasn’t too much, was it?” The younger man blushed again, and Phil could see him biting his lip.

“No, Phil, dinner was wonderful. Just wait until you see your present at home.” There was a mysterious glint to his eye that the older man did not fail to notice. _Two can play this game,_ he thought, and put a hand on Dan’s shirt collar to tug him closer. Their lips met chastely, and then Phil stepped away, grinning innocently. Dan pouted, and Phil leaned forward and rasped in his ear huskily.

“I know what I want my present to be.” Dan’s eyes dilated as Phil’s chest met his, Phil’s tongue tracing the outer shell of his ear as he stood their helplessly. Phil felt a small warmth start to build in his lower gut at the image of his lover this unhinged in public.

Dan placed his hands on Phil’s chest, using them as leverage to move away after a moment.

“Save it for home, Phil, there are people around,” Dan whispered weakly, glancing around, his eyes dilated with lust.

“Wouldn’t you like that?” Phil asked, glancing down at the growing bulge in Dan’s pants pointedly. “Wouldn’t you like for these people to stare at you while you cum in those tight pants of yours?”

Dan’s cheeks darkened another few shades of red, but found no escape as Phil appeared once more, lips almost touching Dan’s.

“Or did I misjudge your sluttiness?”

“Home, please, _now_ ,” the younger man whined out, tugging Phil in the direction of their flat. The raven only smiled at him and, taking his hand, speed walked them back to their home, both desserts in tow. Both men being leggy, they reached the building quite quickly and Dan could not hold himself back as he pinned Phil to the door with his body, kissing him fervently and passionately. Phil growled into the kiss and called them over so that he was on top, pressing Dan into the door, sliding a knee between Dan’s legs and grinding upward.

“You’re already so hard and we’ve barely made it home, you naughty thing,” he said, pressing his forehead to Dan’s. Dan only whimpered in response, and ground down on the thigh, leaning forward to catch Phil’s lips once again. Phil unlocked the door, fumbling with the key, and half dragged, half carried him up the hall to their bedroom, dropping their dessert on the kitchen table on the way. He gently pressed Dan down onto the bed, and stood again, hungry eyes staring Dan’s beautiful, lithe body up and down, taking note of the younger man’s obvious erection.

“Strip,” commanded Phil. He hungrily watched Dan swallow nervously in anticipation, his adam’s apple bobbing as his hands reached up to unbutton his shirt. As he got to the button, Dan realized he could be even _more_ sultry, seductively rolling his hips as he inches his trousers and pants off. He noticed Phil lick his lips and the brunet was suddenly flipped onto his stomach, presenting the real birthday present he had for his older lover.

Phil let out a little “oh” of surprise, brushing his palms over Dan’s supple thighs and firm ass, up to the translucent glass butt plug Dan had been wearing for the whole night. Phil let out a small groan of frustration as he tugged the toy out of his boyfriend for a moment, before plunging it back in, causing Dan’s whine to morph into a moan in his ecstasy.

“You slutty little thing,” Phil whispered to the boy on his hands and knees, “Presenting yourself to me like this, even after you invited me to dinner, wearing this out in public, only you knowing what a little whore you are, and wishing for my cock filling you the whole time.” Phil tapped the bottom of the plug to emphasize each word before pulling out the plug again and holding it, watching Dan’s gaping hole try to suck it in again.

“Listen to the slutty noises you’re making as your hole tries to stay filled; sounds like a cockslut to me.” Phil’s voice was deeper with arousal as he pressed the plug into Dan again for a moment, well aware of how worked up he was getting the younger man. “Hmm? Are you a dirty little cockslut? Do you like getting fucked with a glass toy?” Dan nodded quickly, using his arms as leverage to fuck himself back onto the toy fervently, his hard length dripping precome onto the sheets below him. Phil raised a hand and slapped one of the pale cheeks, turning it a soft pink. “Use your words.” He slapped the opposite cheek for emphasis, stripping himself while Dan stammered.

“I- I’m your cockslut, Phil, please, please fuck me, please, I need your cock baby,” he whined out, panting. Phil chuckled darkly, slowly pulling out the plug, holding the brunet by the thighs to stop him from following the plug. Phil reached over to their bedside table, retrieving lube. He squirted some out onto his hand, noticing Dan squirm as he heard the familiar sound, arching his back in preparation as the birthday boy slid three fingers in easily, Dan having already been stretched out by the plug. Dan let out a groan from deep in his throat, thrusting back onto the fingers as they twisted and curled inside of him.

“P-please,” Dan moaned out.

“Please what,” asked Phil, spreading his fingers slightly.

“Please fuck me Phil, fuck my slutty hole like the cockslut I am.”

“Now that’s more like it,” Phil said, pressing two fingers into Dan’s prostate for a moment, and grinning at the keen from the younger man that followed. Then he, to Dan’s disappointment, withdrew his hand from Dan’s clenching hole and pulling out a dildo, which he slid into Dan slowly until it bottomed out. Dan let out a low moan as he was once again filled, and thrusted back with gusto onto the toy Phil was holding, attempting to get it at _just_ the right angle to—

“Ah!” Dan let out a loud squeal, followed by a string of moans and curses as Phil set the toy to vibrate, and twisted it so that it angled into the brunet’s prostate.

“Hmm, do you like that?” Phil asked with a smirk, “What do you want? Tell me,” each word was punctuated by a thrust and a twist.

“I want your cock. I want your thick, meaty cock inside me and I want you to fuck me so h-hard I won’t be a-able to walk straight for a week. Please, please please…”

Phil increased the vibration strength, nodding contentedly at Dan’s begging, deeming it good enough for now. Dan was starting to keen so loudly Phil thought it may disturb their neighbors, so he bent the younger man over further so that his face was pressed nearly flush with the pillows on their bed. He then thrust the toy deep inside the brunet. Dan let out a deep, loud moan that ended hoarsely. Phil wanted him screaming by the end of the night. Dan let out more pleas and moans, degrading himself for Phil, begging to be filled with a thick cock, Phil’s thick cock. The younger man gasped in surprise as Phil extracted the toy, not turning it off until it was in his hand.

Dan whined at not being filled, but let out another deep groan when he was probed by two fingers. Phil pressed a kiss to Dan’s inner thigh gently. Feeling the head of Phil’s cock at his entrance, Dan let out a whine, rutting back onto Phil’s hard length, moans dissolving into screams of pleasure as Phil sunk in slowly. The birthday boy leaned forward, pressing kisses up Dan’s spine and neck before thrusting out, and sinking back in very slowly. Dan let out a whine, thrusting back onto the raven’s cock. Phil, overcome by his arousal, surrounded by Dan’s warmth, was almost coming. The birthday boy reached forward, wrapping a hand around Dan’s length, and fisted it while he thrusted in time. Dan soon felt his orgasm approach, and started whining out begs.

“Please, can I- please, oh please please please, Phil, please—”

“Come for me,” Phil commanded, and suddenly Dan shuddered, writhing under him as he shot come all over the bed beneath him and onto his stomach. Phil’s orgasm followed closely after, filling Dan before pulling out his softened penis. Phil cleaned them off with a nearby tissue, and spooned Dan gently in bed as Dan came down from subspace.

“Did you like your birthday present?” asked Dan, tired and calm.

“Very, very much. Though I think we should get you something with color,” he teased, hugging Dan tightly.

**Author's Note:**

> thanks 4 reading maybe i'll write more in the future and be less of cliche as possible. you can hit me up on [tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/s1e1pilot).
> 
> bonus scene:  
> later when they get up to shower they pass the lukewarm pie on the table, and laugh before popping it in the fridge. they'll probably have sugar for breakfast in the morning, phil thinks, which won't be too bad...  
> phil wakes up alone and cold again, and gets up to see dan eating the pie in the dark, alone.  
> "dan what the hell that was our pie"  
> "uhhm, well, you see, it was just in the fridge, and-"  
> phil cuts him off with a chaste kiss and takes the plate and fork from his hands, popping them in the fridge and guiding dan back to bed.


End file.
